Why He’s Hot:
- His name is Nicholas. Just say it, it rolls off of your tongue.
- Not only does he write all of his own music and sign, but he can play guitar, drums, piano, and the fucking glockenspiel. You don’t even know what the fuck a glockenspiel is, do you? You don’t need to. Just assume that it’s hot when he plays it.
- He doesn’t have to break his vow of purity to fuck you. All he has to do is look at you with that signature intensity of his and you’ll cream your jeans.
- Yes, he’s underage (one more year!) but this motherfucker has the bodyof a twenty-five year old.
- How many other white boys have this much junk in the trunk? Shall we praise his diabetes for keeping them thunderthighs thick?
